blew up

which one is my priority?
i have to choose which one is the most important things.
now, I'm in the middle of difficult intersection. I already had my answer then, but when she revealed mine answer, she against it!
she wasn't advocated me. she forcing me, indirectly, i have to choose, which is same as her decision.
i don't have any decision in my lifetime, haven't decide anything, everything always dominated by her or somebody else, maybe she did like that, because she know everything would be the best for me. but for this time, give me a chance to do what I wanna do.
i do really fed up stand behind your shadow and being what you want.
just see me as I am.
when i fail, she blame on me but she never look what she has done. i gotta work hard, for not being fail, because too scared to see her angry to me.
and this time, i have to follow what she said, just hope and pray i won't fail again, do the best as i can do to make her really proud of me and stop blaming nor complaining.

but until now, all i can do is nothing. i never say it or bringing it forward. just still on my silent, which they won't listen.

♥ я