yours

days have been passed into years,

you've become better

day by day

week by week

month by month

year by year.

but, this year turn out to be different.

its such compliment for me to pleased you

on your day.

may your wishes all come true,

even if you have a ton.

♥ you ♥

ps: I made some virtual birthday card for popeye and the good news is he loves it much. although he's hundred miles away from me.

a month

31 days we've been together,

no interesting stories to share,

no extraordinary adventure to tell,

no sweet words,

no, just nothing to share,

because , it is indescribable and there's no words interpret deep inside,

all I did, just enjoy,

processes

warm

hugs

kisses

arms

and ,

l o v e

cup(y)cakes

I never thought, you would be the fiercest guy

I've made some thick wall, but you could make it falling down

then you came into "there"

you make every doubtful clear enough

there, I see you as you are

standing in the corner

no more shadow, no more demanded, no more doubt

then, first thing cross my mind is,

I should try and listen to my conscience.

we're not together (yet).

I do appreciate processes, he needs to think for the next step,

Either do I.

so here we are to build the sparks as one.

Ps : I've made cupcakes for him and surprised him. Thank God he likes it and very pleased :">

Should I ? Shouldn't I?

We've gotta learn from our past (especially our mistakes) to be better man each day for the rest of your future. beside mistakes, we should be trained more mature to handle every-kind-of situation. how to re-act? how to control own-emotion?

HORRIFICALLY,

when I'm in a middle that re-situation I just couldn't help my-own-self to react and not being overrated. every little things across mind was self injure, cry, anger, and everything turns out to be so wrong.
oh God, how to pursue my happiness? long-last one. I barely know myself recently and its pathetic. I'M TIRED! should I leave?

error trial

one of my birthday gift from my sisters is disderi 3 lenses, actually its kind of lomo, but lomo hasn't admit it as one of their sort. this is my first roll, which is error-trial, just 5 photos succeed while another 35 shoots thus slight. anyway, enjoy and give me some tips then.

(kind of weird, the photos can't be rotate :|)

simplest way

drapery wear as dress or cape

simple is another dressing up

back when hi-school way

leather not just allow for jackets or pants, either dress

grey is the new black

I always loved simple cut

get them all from here.

feeling guilty

have you ever felt being someone bad?

yea, I DID. couple days ago, I felt that way. I've been the worst man alive ever.

you know why? it's caused I did hurt somebody feeling.

maybe I hurt someone a lot, but this time was different. I was like hurting him slightly, which is I never ever done it before. you don't even know how I feel.

let's make it a quick-story-telling, I've been in a get-to-know progress with someone recently, actually he's my old friend and we've been a good friends, all of the sudden others friends are trying to make us getting closer. at the first time, everything looks just fine but afterward it's just wrong. weird. awkward. inconvenient. I feel like, 'men, this time I'm in a wrong track' where the is hell my principe? I said, that once as a friend always be friends for good. but then I break my words. and I FAILED.

I couldn't make it through with someone which I don't have the same way with him. thus, I decided to take a retreat slowly like; I replied the message if it's necessary and so on. after that act, one of my friends asked me about that stuff and to be frank, I couldn't tell her the truth. I hide it up with laugh and try to talked another topics. but then, the truth release sweetly from my own mouth and the first thing in my mind was 'what am I talking about? screw you, Ranti'

they asked me to say what I feel for real which I got busted, then I told them everything I have done. and asked for their help to give him a 'sign' that am not into it any longer.

then, that night them all talked to him and tell everything I've said. BUT THEN! NIGHTMARE CAME TO ME. yea! he called me and told me that he knew everything. while at that time, I should give him certainty. VOILA! that was it, I became a heartless couple days night ago.

NOTE : I've never refuse someone directly. I always gave them a sign before they moved too far with me. I can't say it, yep! that is the immature side of me. just couldn't. this is for the first time I pulled it out. I'm deeply sorry to you, am not as you think for real, I just beyond your expectation.

today is the DAY

today is my birthday.

I ain't have any interesting story.

the surprises went so well, at 12am my bestie(s) were came to my house and bring pieces of cake.

and also, my girls(s) came by in the afternoon.

I felt so happy, because I ain't expect any surprises at all but in the same time.

i felt terribly sad, cause momma was not around. she got a duty to go to malaysia for a week.

so here is today went so flat without her around. yea! am 20 but still so spoiled and childish.

anyway, in the end of the day (at least) I had some fun to going out for dinner with the girls and some of friends. and laugh until we die.

by the way, thank you for all wishes you gave on twitter or facebook.

here are some birthday wishes :)

from twitter ;

too bad I can't put all the wishes, at least your wishes are so mean to me :)

love you all and this bearhug for all of you .

today I felt so special and remind me to people who care about me .

gdnight.

took here , there ; wherever

middle exam test really is killing me softly, when i got trapped,
I took giant on and turned on yellow-desk-light.
and pressed the shutter button freely.

so here are the result ;









and actually it's narcissistic . lol
but it's put away dizziness for a while.

" truly inspiring person never tried thus hard to inspired others. It comes naturally. "

anxious yet ecstatic

" I TURN TO BE 20 IN A WEEK "

and in fact, I'm afraid of being that ages.

will be an adult

heavy responsibilities haunted on me

someone said ;

" Age is linear , personality is not "

what am I afraid of ?

being teenager has a great mind and creativity,

being adult feels like killed those .

stucked is the most fear

its like a burden being thus,

at rest I'm being such daddy little girl

fact, I don't mind it.

let 20th be a number , just , a number.

P.L.E.A.S.U.R.E

Perhaps I seem thus spoil or even childish like count-downing the day to my birthday. kikikiki. but guess what its been a pleasure for me to do thus I do love welcoming birthday every years, its like every year was different and I do love surprises for God sake, who doesn't actually ?

why do I love birthday ? because at 'that' day

I feel so special, I mean it. like everyone memorize 'it' day, pray for a very precious wish, think about gift to be given (believe me, every present has its meaning by the way) and last I will have a blast at that day. that's why I loved it, actual

ly I have like zillions of reasons why, but I can't mention it one by one. just let me know it with my heart, azzeeeekk.

and for those whom thinking for the present t

hat suits me best (am way overconfidence at right thi

s time) ;p I'll give you some clue or maybe its not a clue its the things that I really want

it and it'll be pleasure if you all want to make it come true ;

♥ Some bucks to fulfill my needs

♥ getaway golden ticket to everywhere, to facilitate to have some relaxation

♥ bookstores voucher

♥ this skirt made me can't sleep (exaggerate!) its from mango and suits me best ;p

♥ lomo camera

in fact, I just want to be surrounded by people that love me. fufu and too bad momma will leave at exactly my day to fly away to malay for a week. just wished I have a very blast day.

books tempting

I gave more attention to books recently. I previously had put another interest to read, I used to asked my granny or daddy for the references to read and these passion become heftier than before. when daddy's put some bucks to my flazz card or when momma transferred monthly bucks, all I wanna go at that time just going to bookstore. until now, biggest passion I've been put for novel, like romantic story. but by the time flies, now I read another fiction. just not like ordinary story. I love clara ng, for extra-ordinary-fiction-story! (so far, hehe) and now I'm trying to read in english books. another book I'd loved to read is such as dajjal or atlantis that found in Indonesia, science and either art! every books has dissimilar enthusiastic to stole my eyes. :D

so, did you have another references to read? let me know. I would love to know :)

M O V E O N

sounds easy. But you have to die a million times in pain just to appreciate this word.

-unknown

apologize , sowwy sowwy

I've been looked for any thoughts or stuffs to post it here, unfortunately I've no time even to touch my titan, and also there's nothing inspires me lately. sowwy :D

by the way, happy lunar year for fellas who celebrate it last sunday and yes! happy valentine's day for those who celebrate it. hope you all have a blessed one.

see, people! don't think about my lack post its caused of my hectic day or busy one. its totally not, i am literally free, but I got trouble with my bedtime and yes, I can't get enough time to sleepwell. so sleepless everyday, so I stole time to sleep after college(ing) stuffs and done my task. so beside fulfilled duty, I watched dvd(s), read a novel and yeah! good news, I learned to cook. hihihi

anyway , catch you all later ! *berlaga ada yang baca --

I promise , that I'll write something later. I'll post my own recipe!

have a great night.

new york i LOVE you

Love can be found everywhere to anybody, just like inspires that haunting on you. Inspiration could come by everyone and everywhere in every moment, might be in bathroom, before bedtime, when got stuck in the middle of traffic, and others billions random act. Well, to be frank I got inspires by people around with their thoughts and occasionally when someone has chatted on me. hhm, lets see movies and songs also work out.

Today I just finish watched New York I love you

I estimated that the movies was kind of bundle of many stories, its not contains just one story line and from those stories they aren’t connected each other or maybe they just meet in some other time. Well, for my part I loved it, in the basic me lovey any drama movie, so when people said that this movie is boring but for me it doesn’t, the other way I took pleasure in it.

This movie shows me how to love someone beyond doubt, love at first sight, or maybe your-fantasy-love that teach you how to love yourself. I’m pretty sure that anyone has their own way to meet their love, to understand what love is. God never granted your quest that easy, such as you quested for A thing and at times God gave others thing, but believe! What God give to you its probably what you need and its better or your quest must be await until its time. Just believe behind any achievement there is wisdom on its behind.

Trust me, movie teaches me better, hm, no no path of life are the best teacher all over the world.

put your things on, when rain comes

put it up when rain comes by run for tea featuring Old Navy jackets

missery black to make closet PERFCETO

missery black to complete my closet by run for tea featuring Christian Louboutin shoes

Items in this set:

T By Alexander Wang Classic Tank, $70

Christian Louboutin Circus cut out ankle boot, 495 GBP

Vintage Chanel Handbags, Chanel Black Handbag, $295

Helmut Lang Leather leggings, $875

1880s Carved Whitby Jet Earrings, Gold : Erie Basin Antiques, $350

man in the mirror

woohooo, last saturday i had family dinner. finally i could have time to spend with my family and i made the rules for last night, no boyfriends allowed. hehe sorry to say! but sometimes we need our family time :) am I right? yea, might be am envy them too much, but whatever it says, I don't mind it :P. the dinner is for celebrated daddy's graduation, yea! my dad took law degree for 3 years and last week he's just graduated. maybe it makes you confuse, dad love to learn something new, so he has double degree one in economic and one in law.

anyway, forget about the daddy's part. hihi

I just found, hmm lets say some friend told me about someone who has really great voice and he makes me melted down. oh my! when I hear his voice, speechless all I can say, just impolite words, am extremely dazed! his voice was so so so so great and soft. you better check it by yourself on his youtube gabebondoc

here is one my fave from his a loads of his video's.

get it from here